PRE-ELECTION TALK

PRE-ELECTION TALK

Sat, 10/28/2023 - 15:45

While in the local elections politicians of varied magnitude argued about the past and who was to be held responsible, the rank-and-file Bulgarians took to their usual weapon, political jokes. Here is a selection of what's making the rounds these days.

"Hey, beauty, let's go home and have sex."

" I can't do it just like that. We do not even have common acquaintances."

"Well, do you know Boyko Borisov?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, let's go!"

***

They say there is no unemployment in Bulgaria. That's not true. Look at how many people are looking for jobs as mayors.

***

When you see many people dressed in suits go to church and light candles or plant trees, local elections are in the offing.

***

Two politicians talk to each other.

"Hey, pal, how did you get rich?"

"That was easy. Do you see that hospital over there?"

"Yes, and so what?"

"While it was being built, half of the cash went into my pocket. What about yourself? How did you manage to make ends meet?"

"Do you see that bridge over the river?"

"Which bridge?"

"That one, the big modern one."

"Wait a minute... I can't see any bridge over the river."

"Well, you will never ever see one, bro."

***

Two politicians of different political parties were biding their time, getting bored. One proposed to the other.

"Let's each of us draw a self-portrait."

The other one agreed: "OK, but on a condition."

"What condition?"

"It will only be a self-portrait from the waist up."

They agreed, so before too long each had a self-portrait of himself. One said: "Don't pay too much attention, but my hands are of a different size. With the big one I feed myself. With the small one I give to the people."

The other one replied: "Here is my self-portrait, but don't pay too much attention. I painted myself as a woman with two breasts. And both are of a different size."

"Why?"

"Well, with the big breast I feed my family. With the small one I give to the party."

"And with what do you give to the people?"

"OK, we agreed to picture ourselves from the waits up, right?!"

Issue 205

Commenting on www.vagabond.bg

Vagabond Media Ltd requires you to submit a valid email to comment on www.vagabond.bg to secure that you are not a bot or a spammer. Learn more on how the company manages your personal information on our Privacy Policy. By filling the comment form you declare that you will not use www.vagabond.bg for the purpose of violating the laws of the Republic of Bulgaria. When commenting on www.vagabond.bg please observe some simple rules. You must avoid sexually explicit language and racist, vulgar, religiously intolerant or obscene comments aiming to insult Vagabond Media Ltd, other companies, countries, nationalities, confessions or authors of postings and/or other comments. Do not post spam. Write in English. Unsolicited commercial messages, obscene postings and personal attacks will be removed without notice. The comments will be moderated and may take some time to appear on www.vagabond.bg.

0 comments

Add new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.

Discover More

three generations monument
'DEFILING' ABANDONED PILE OF STONES
Perushtitsa, now a small and offbeat town rarely visited by tourists, is known to every Bulgarian as the sight of a massacre in the failed April 1876 Uprising against the Ottomans.

gabrovo carnival
KOSTYA KOPEYKIN'S FOUNDATION KICKS OFF
Though Dead Souls used to be on the national school curriculum, few latterday Bulgarians, and possibly even fewer English speakers, have actually read it, so here is a short synopsis.

buzludzha night.jpg
BUZLUDZHA LIGHTS UP AGAIN
The Flying Saucer, which in recent years has become one of the Top 10 world monuments for urbex, or dark tourism, was constructed in the early 1980s. It was designed to celebrate the Bulgarian Communist Party, in control of this country from 1944 to 1989.

lz airplane
FLYING LOW
In early June a small plane flew into Bulgarian airspace from the northwest and landed at what used to be a commercial airport near Vidin. Apparently, the aircraft refuelled.

airport bulgaria
IS THERE A PILOT IN THE PLANE?
In early June a small plane flew into Bulgarian airspace from the northwest and landed at what used to be a commercial airport near Vidin. Apparently, the aircraft refuelled.