JOKES OF THE MONTH

by Stamen Manolov

Competition

The Bulgarian National Circus went out of business. It could not compete with the government, the National Assembly, the Sofia City Council and the president...

Politics

– Are you interested in politics?
– Of course.
– Passively or actively?
– ?
– I mean, are you an MP or you just watch TV?


EU

What now that we are in the European Union? Many people still live in the Soviet Union.

 

Nightly Bread

An MP meets with his constituency. A man shouts from the last row: "Your honour, do you know that many people go to bed without bread?
"This is an insinuation! There are so many night shops around!"


Pigs

Delyan Peevski went to pay an official visit to a pig farm. A reporter took some snapshots and then thought what captions to use. "Peevski among pigs," "Pigs and Delyan," "Delyan and pigs..." The reporter was at a loss. Then he decided: "Delyan Peevski (third from left) visited a pig farm."

 

TXT

The National Assembly sent its quarterly report in a text message.


Birds

Two old men sit on a bench and feed the sparrows.
– Hey, did you know that these sparrows are like our politicians?
– Why?
– When they are on the ground they are quite happy with little bread crumbs. But when they start flying they will shit on your head."


New Law

Bulgarian physicists discovered a new law. In Bulgaria, corruption is not generated, nor does it disappear. It just transits from one government to the next.


Socialist Realism

Boyko Borisov and Vezhdi Rashidov, the former culture minister, went to look at the Museum of Socialist Art. Boyko Borisov commented: "This Lenin statue weighs 32 tons. This is a portrait of Todor Zhivkov. This is a picture of class struggle. And this is a fine example of Socialist Realism: a gangster and a bum."

"This is the mirror sir," said the guide.


Ministerial Call

A government minister makes a phone call to his wife. He hears a pre-recorded message: "Owing to the reduced budget of the Interior Ministry we are unable to monitor this call at the moment. Please try later. Your call is important for us. Beep."


World Economic Crisis

The World Economic Crisis is flying around the world. She looks down at America and says: "Ah, I've done a good job here."
Then she goes over Europe and sees Britain, France and Germany: "Not bad here either," she murmurs.
Then she looks at Bulgaria.
"Ah! Boyko has managed without me!"


Bats

A man and a woman are engaged in conversation.
– Where will you be going tonight?
– I am going to a protest rally.
– But why are you carrying a baseball bat and a knuckleduster?
– Because I am going to support Volen Siderov.


Shrink

An MP sees his shrink. "Doc, I have a multiple personality disorder. I speak out one thing, but I think something else and then I do something completely different."
"Don't worry," the shrink replies. "This means you are a completely normal MP."

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