DILYANA KOLEVA: THE ROLE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE


The psychologist shows us the way towards a calm and peaceful personal and professional life

Dilyana Koleva.jpg

Emotional intelligence is the key towards our personal and professional development. But how can we master the skill to recognise and express our authentic feelings and emotions? The psychologist Dilyana Koleva knows the answer. In her years of practice she has helped thousands of people to transform their lives. One of her most successful projects is The House, a workshop that started 6 years ago and is currently in its latest instalment. In it, participants spend 72 hours in a protected environment to get an in-depth grasp of the conflicts in their lives and to learn how to deal with them.

Why should modern people not underestimate emotional intelligence?

When we are incapable of recognising our emotions we cannot control them and we become easily susceptible to manipulation and stress.

A significant part of our communication problems are caused by lack of emotional intelligence. The best indicator that we have such a problem is having some conflict in our life. By underestimating emotional intelligence we put ourselves in an unfavourable position - someone else is controlling my emotions, and we feel misunderstood, betrayed, screwed.

The capability to recognise our emotions and to express them in an intelligent way makes us calm, confident and an excellent company. 

What are the personal benefits?

If I understand my feelings, I will not expect someone else to be responsible for them. "I am angry," rather than "you are making me angry," is the right approach towards the situation. By doing this, I take responsibility for my feelings. This automatically makes me capable of coping. 

"What makes you sad?," instead of "don't cry now" shows involvement. My ability to recognise the other's sadness and to stay with them for some time in this emotion makes me a good friend, parent, human.

The ability to say "no" means that I can face and overcome my fear. This makes me a confident and proactive person who stands up for herself. Successful people are like this. 

To be able to say "stop" when someone has crossed my boundaries is the road towards good self-perception. 

What about the professional benefits? 

My workshops in big companies have shown that the underlying problem is often the emotional transfer that all employees do on their colleagues. I am talking about emotions that the person is unable to deal with at the place of their origin, and consequently expresses them in places and with people who have nothing to do with them. I unleash on my unsuspecting colleague all the anger I feel towards my partner in life, but I do not know how to express it properly. 

When emotional intelligence is not developed properly, a series of situations with unexpected consequences unfold. The fastest way to realise the importance of emotional intelligence are targeted workshops.

Luckily, a growing number of managers now seek such initiatives.

phone: 0878 510 963 

www.lammen.bg 

Ролята на емоционалната интелигентност

Диляна Колева ни показва пътя към спокоен и мирен личен и професионален живот

Емоционалната интелигентност е ключ към развитието ни в личен и професионален план. Но как да овладеем умението да разпознаваме и изразяваме автентичните си чувства и емоции? Психологът Диляна Колева знае отговора. В дългогодишната си практика тя е помогнала на хиляди хора да променят живота си. Един от най-успешните ѝ проекти е уъркшопът "Къщата", който започва преди 6 години и в момента е в поредното си издание. При него прекарвате три денонощия в защитена среда, за да разберете в дълбочина конфликтите в живота си и да научите как да се справяте с тях.

Защо съвременният човек не трябва да подценява емоционалната интелигентност?

Когато не умеем да разпознаваме емоциите си, не можем и да ги управляваме, и ставаме лесно уязвими и податливи на манипулации и стрес.

Голяма част от комуникационните ни проблеми се дължат на липсата на емоционална интелигентност. Най-точната индикация, че имаме такъв проблем, е наличието на конфликт в живота ни. Като подценяваме емоционалната интелигентност, се поставяме в неизгодна позиция – друг управлява емоциите ни, а ние се чувстваме неразбрани, предадени, прецакани.

Умението да разпознаваме емоциите и да ги изразяваме интелигентно ни прави спокойни, уверени и много добри събеседници.

Какви са ползите в личен план?

Ако разбирам чувствата си, няма да очаквам някой друг да отговаря за тях.

"Гневна съм", а не "ядосваш ме" е правилният поглед над ситуацията. С това поемам отговорност за чувствата си. Това автоматично ме прави способна да се справя.

"Какво те натъжава?" вместо "не плачи сега" показва съпричастност. Умението ми да разпозная тъгата на другия и да постоя с него в тази емоция ме прави добър приятел, родител, човек.

Умението да казвам "Не" означава, че мога да се изправя и да премина през страха си. Това ме прави самоуверен и инициативен човек, който отстоява позицията си. Такива са успешните хора.

Да мога да кажа "Стоп", когато прекрачат личните ми граници, е пътят към добрата самооценка.

А в професионален?

Когато провеждам уъркшопи в екипи на големи фирми, често проблемът се оказва емоционалният пренос, който всеки служител прави върху колегите си. Говорим за емоции, с които човек не успява да се справи там, където те възникват, и ги проявява и на места и с хора, които нямат нищо общо с това. Гневът към интимния партньор, който не знам как да изразя, изразявам към колега, който не подозира нищо за моя емоционален свят.

Ако емоционалната интелигентност не е развита, започва низ от ситуации с неочакван финал. Най-бързият начин към осъзнаването важността на емоционалната интелигентност са уъркшопи и работилници по темата.

За щастие все повече мениджъри се обръщат към подобен род инициативи.

тел: 0878 510 963 

www.lammen.bg 

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